Festivals, Feast days and Fasting days for the monthe of Bogshyte:
being the firste month of the olde calendar of the Godensligs
1 Phlobdaye | Feast day of Bellendius the premature to celebrate the new annus |
2 Wangledong | 2nd quarter moon phase of Bog |
3 Cretinium | First fasting day of Slobma the Obese |
4 Arsenikolus | Celebration of Fistingmore’s entry through the passage of Glitterscritte the Viestible |
5 Milkspotte | Second fasting day of Slobma the Obese |
6 Meadegrip | Feast day of Slobma the Obese |
7 Wrestinbog | Remeberance eve of Nosfer the Cattamite (held on the third Phlobdaye of Jism in Bogglemarsh) |
8 Phlobdaye | Herb gathering day for the Spatgulians |
9 Wangledong | Phlanksedge day in Clibblydock upon Merticop |
10 Cretinium | Annual Dribble day for the Totternessimites |
11 Arsenikolus | Second feast day of Slobma the Obese |
12 Milkspotte | Sheep marrying day for the Harlechians |
13 Meadegrip | Nank and Fledge championship, first round |
14 Wrestinbog | Feast of Cyderous the troublemaker |
15 Phlobdaye | Third Phlobdaye of Flatula |
16 Wangledong | Third feast day of Slobma the Obese |
17 Cretinium | The feast of Pukling the Bullimic |
18 Arsenikolus | Holy day of rest for the Sodomites |
19 Milkspotte | Gribble gathering day (Wrestinius in carborundum) |
20 Meadegrip | Hog Boffing day in preparation of Hog Quoffling day |
21 Wrestinbog | Hog Quoffling day |
22 Phlobdaye | Festival of Mountebanke the thief |
23 Wangledong | Hair gathering day in honour of Elton of Eltonia |
24 Cretinium | Faggot gathering day |
25 Arsenikolus | Witch burning day |
26 Milkspotte | Bogle trolling season begins |
27 Meadegrip | National holiday for the Fringletwats |
28 Wrestinbog | Final Feast day of Slobma the Obese |
29 Phlobdaye | Last phase of Bog |
30 Wangledong | Arsewhype day in Toiletium |
31 Cretinium | Olde twattyfog’s school term starts |
Recipe for Sclap pie
Ingredients
2 pound of fresh Sclaps gathered at .
1 pound of festered Bogwhore
3 tablespoons of Crapsalt
4 Pepperscabs
Large Sprig of fresh Dungberry
2 Shytehawke tongues
Pinch of strong Griddlesnotte
A scraping of Dwarf scalp
Fresh or frozen dildo pastry
Mix together all the Sclaps, the festered bogwhore, the Crapsalt and the Pepperscabs in an iron cauldron and set to one side.
Wrap the Shytehawke tongues tightly with the sprig of Dungberry and boil for 10 minutes in a cauldron of olde Spumejism
When the tongues be boiled roll them in the Griddlesnotte and Dwarf scalp.
Then cut the tongues thinly and place on the Sclaps that were set aside.
Cover with the dildo pastry and put the cauldron into a pre heated oven for 2 hours.
Serve hot with Curdlecum, Shagnettles and whole bruised Sqittyrds.
I would suggest a simple Meade to accompany this dish but if you do have wine then make it a strong Wronseel from the Bygger Valley.
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Curse of the week:
Be thy shpim bogget as cold as the ice of Permadrint and may thy Splock bangle rust in the rain.